FAKE BIO

Brian Scolaro was born in a log cabin in Eggplant, West Virginia in 1876. And was visited during the night by Three Shephards. They beat the shit out of him for six hours. His mother was a ghost pimp and his father was a washing machine. Brian went to High school in the Philipines, where he spent four years learning to become an asshole. He received notoriety when he discovered a cure for “sight” by poking people in the eyes. Brian was killed by a large bear when he was sixteen, but he did not let that stop his acting dreams. He moved to Hollywood in 1872 and now sells garbage under a bridge.

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REAL BIO

Brooklyn born Brian Scolaro is an actor and stand-up comedian. He got his start at the The Comedy Cellar in NYC, and he is most known for his appearances on “CONAN”, his half hour Comedy Central special “COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS: BRIAN SCOLARO”, as Doug on TBS’s “SULLIVAN AND SON”, and as Stuart on FOX’s “STACKED”. About his role of Stuart Miller on “Stacked”, The LA Times said “Scolaro is terrific. An actual sitcom find.” About his role as Doug on “Sullivan and Son”, Brian Doyle-Murray (Caddyshack) said Brian is “one of the best I’ve ever seen.”

Brian has appeared on “DEXTER”, “MAD MEN”, “BONES”, “CASTLE”, “GREY’S ANATOMY,” “THE MIDDLE”, “SUPERIOR DONUTS”, “I’M DYING UP HERE”, “SHAMELESS”, “ALONE TOGETHER”, “HARRY’S LAW,” “MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE”, “THE EXES”, “GIRL MEETS WORLD”, “TRUTH BE TOLD” and has also had recurring roles on “KROLL SHOW”, “LIFE AND TIMES OF TIM” and “WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE”; as well as a regular role as Gordon on NBC’s “THREE SISTERS”.

He has gone on to share his original and yet old school style of stand up on “CONAN”, “THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH CRAIG FERGUSON”, “GOTHAM COMEDY LIVE”, “LATE NITE WITH CONAN O’BRIEN”, COMEDY CENTRAL’S “LIVE AT GOTHAM”, “COMICS UNLEASHED ” and finally his very own half hour special “COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS: BRIAN SCOLARO” which still airs multiple times a year and is one of their popular downloads on Comedy Central’s iTunes page. Comedian Tom Rhodes is quoted saying “He has a hugely inventive style and I go out of my way to see him perform whenever I can.” And Marc Maron said on WTF podcast, Brian “might be the funniest fuckin person alive.”

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LONG BIO

Brian was born on October 18th, 1973 in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. The doctors claim he was very stinky. Brian says his Mom farted.

Growing up in NYC, he was the lead in several school plays in Grammar school and High school. Brian planned on acting as a career.

He chose to focus on comedy acting after his father showed him the Marx Brothers and Laurel and Hardy.

And during his freshman year of college his love of Bill Cosby and George Carlin pushed him to do his first stand up show -which was at Stand-Up N.Y. Comedy Club in Manhattan on January 14th, 1992.

It was around this time that Brian met Fog Horn Leghorn at a deli in Manhattan. He promised Brian a part in his upcoming Broadway revival of “Death of a Salesman.” But it went to Egghead Jr. instead.

Brian’s college career, at the New York State University of New Paltz, was highlighted by a multi-media attack. His N.A.C.B. (National Association of College Broadcasters) nominated television situation comedy “Earp and Whitney” made him a mini-celebrity on campus. His popular FM radio comedy program “That Damn Show” made him a cult hero for the neighboring high schools. And his weekly column in the school newspaper “This Week’s Crap” made him an enemy among school leaders.

Upon graduating college in ’95, Brian became an intern for “Real Sex” on HBO. His job was to stand on a corner and radio the producer if cops were coming when they were taping people fucking in an alley. He also was an intern for The Comedy Channel (now Comedy Central). Tired of standing behind the camera with a bowl of jelly beans for the audience and watching other comedians and actors achieve their dreams, Brian quit and turned to stand up comedy full time.

At Caroline’s Comedy Club, Boston Comedy Club, Catch a Rising Star, Dangerfields, The Comic Strip, and Stand Up NY, Brian honed his stand-up skills. His manager, Vincent Nastri, discovered him at the old Gotham Comedy Club in NY in 1995.

Then Brian became a priest and began marrying monkeys part time.

His first real acting job was a series of TV Commercials for “Wendy’s.” Soon after he was cast by famed director Sidney Lumet (Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico) to appear as a snobby television producer on A&E’s “100 Centre St.”

Then came the “Caroline’s Comedy Club” show that kick started everything. Here he was grabbed up by agents and asked to do The New Faces Show at Montreal’s Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in ’99.

Brian then made a fortune helping hippos fall asleep.

He rose up in the stand-up comedy scene in New York by becoming a regular performer at the toughest and most prestigious club in Manhattan- The Comedy Cellar. Nightly he worked with (and sometimes followed) comics like Dave Chappelle, Dave Attell, Louie CK, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, Patrice Oneal, Ray Romano, Greg Giraldo, Marc Maron, Sarah Silverman, and Colin Quinn.

In 2001, off of a video taped audition from New York, he was cast by writer Steve Koren (Click, Bruce Almighty, SNL, Seinfeld) to be a regular cast member for the NBC pilot “Everything But the Girl” with Tiffani Theissen. The pilot was beat to the line up by SCRUBS.

But NBC cast him right away on the second season of “Three Sisters” along side Dyan Cannon, David Allan Basche and AJ Langer. Brian moved to Hollywood for his first regular TV sitcom role and began acting on network television.

Brian then took a year off and retraced the route of Ponce De Leon.

Next, Brian was cast by Director/Producer Tom Shadyak (Ace Ventura/Nutty Professor) to be in a popular ABC pilot “Platonically Incorrect” with Tom Everett-Scott. Brian was then offered a holding deal with CBS in 2004.

Then in 2005, Brian was cast as “Stuart Miller” on the FOX sitcom “STACKED” by Steve Levitan (Just Shoot Me/Modern Family) and Jeffrey Richman, where he worked alongside cast members Pamela Anderson and Christopher Lloyd. “Stacked” ran for two seasons.

Then came the writer’s strike. No shows were in production except reality ones. So Brian auditioned for Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” and he was finally invited back to the cable channel that started his career. This time not as an intern. But as a comedian. In fact, he closed the show.

He then appeared on “Late Nite with Conan O’Brien” and Brian was invited to shoot his own half hour special “Comedy Central Presents: Brian Scolaro”. It was taped at the Millenium Theatre (the home of Steve Allen’s “Tonight Show”) in New York City in 2008 and aired in 2009.

Brian then appeared in a hugely popular Netflix commercial.

Then tragedy struck as Brian, for a brief period, became a ghost cat.

Brian was cast as Doug, a small guest role, on TBS’s “SULLIVAN AND SON.” But the part immediately grew to be a recurring role in the series.

Brian has since appeared on Showtime’s “Dexter”, AMC’s “Mad Men”, TBS’s “Conan”, ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy”, ABC’s “CASTLE”, ABC’s “The Middle”, FOX’s “BONES”, ABC’s “CASTLE”, CBS’s “SUPERIOR DONUTS”, SHOWTIME’S “I’m DYING UP HERE”, NBC’s “Harry’s Law”, TNT’s “Men of a Certain Age”, Bob Odenkirk’s film “The Brothers Solomon”, NBC’S “GO ON”, Disney’s “Crash and Bernstein”, CBS’s “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson”, ABC’s “Comics Unleashed”, TVLand’s “The Exes”, DISNEY’s “Girl Meets World”, NBC’s “Growing Up Fisher”, a recurring character on the Disney Channel’s “The Wizards of Waverly Place”, a recurring role on Comedy Central’s “Kroll Show”, many many roles on HBO’s “The Life and Times of Tim”, and many other shows.

Brian partnered with All Things Comedy to release the most unique podcast ever released. “THIS IS MY PODCAST” is a 15 minute sketch comedy show along the lines of National Lampoon Radio Hour, and Monty Python and 2,000 Year Old Man albums. It is available at iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher and Allthingscomedy.com.

Currently, Brian is the Easter Bunny and in his spare time makes hybrid fruits and vegetables.